So you want to be an Imam? Lisping naked farters need not apply!

And I hope those aren’t “Depends” you’re wearin…this came in the daily e-mail I receive from my Buds at Serenity Fountain.

Conditions for being an Imam

6- To be without an excuse. A person who has an excuse cannot be the imam for those who do not have an excuse. Excuses are: continuous bleeding at some part of the body, incontinence in wind-breaking or urination, repeated pronounciation of the letters “te” and “fe”, lisping, that is, pronouncing the letter “sin” as “se” (a letter which is pronounced with “th” sound) and the letter “ra” as “ghayn” (that is, voiced velar fricative instead of post-alveolar frictionless continuant), being without an ablution or being smeared with najasat in excess of one dirham, and being with bare awrat (genital) parts.