WARREN, MI - MARCH 04:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks to guests during a rally at Macomb Community College on March 4, 2016 in Warren, Michigan. Voters in Michigan will go to the polls March 8 for the State's primary.  (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

The Tepid Trumper

But if Donald Trump wins the presidency in November, I will literally fall to my knees and weep with relief.

I’m not proud of that. I hate feeling propelled, rather like a cat in heat, by a toxic cocktail of shallow novelty-seeking and primitive tribalism. As a conscientious, civic-minded reason to cheer a presidential wannabe, “He annoys all the right people” ranks somewhere between “It’s just time for a change” and “This’ll teach the bastards a lesson.” I know.

But 15 years after September 11—and however long it’s been since O.J., and since “global warming” became a “thing”—I just can’t cope. And drinking’s not an option.

  • dance…dancetotheradio

    I’m drinking for you.
    I have a birthday coming up.
    Be tepid all you want, he’s going to win.
    And I’m really enjoying watching them squirm on CNN tonight.

    • jack burns

      Happy B’Day. Why squirming?

      • dance…dancetotheradio

        The Trumps are the new Kennedys.
        CNN is having trouble accepting that.
        Actually, the Trumps are what the Kennedys should have been.

        • Norman_In_New_York

          If so, then Ivanka may become the first Jewish president.

          • dance…dancetotheradio

            Somehow, Norman, I don’t think you’d have a problem with that.

  • jack burns

    It has been the season of our great suffering, our version of The Troubles. It needs to end.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      The Troubles.
      I have friends who are sons of the men who had to run away.
      Don’t necessarily agree with them.

      • Marie Taylor

        <<o. ✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤:::::::!ja370s:….,……

      • jack burns

        If you are referring to Catholic men who became outlaws I was’t crazy about their tactics but I believe on one Ireland.

  • infedel

    Our founding fathers created the best republic on drink…cheers!