Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon


Earlier this week, we received a dossier from an anonymous source who claims that the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), the US Air Force, Lockheed Martin and the black ops division of Wal-Mart have established a secret testing facility somewhere in Nevada, where they’re engaged in experimental zoological weapons testing.

Our source provided photographic proof of the process which has, over the last two years, led to the development of a fully-functioning Kilocat prototype. Here, then, is the chilling proof of America’s feline WMD capability…

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    DARPA could do that!

  • ontario john

    Damn those Jews, is Hitler Harper behind this?

  • Ron MacDonald

    Here’s the secret weapon to counteract it.

  • WhiteRabbit3

    They finally found a use for cats.

  • vimy

    I have four adopted cats at my house. I had to spend around 1000$ on one to get his broken hip fixed. I thought they were happy members of our home but now I’m thinking they may be infiltrators. (Maybe Shadow broke his hip parachuting in for some covert op of some sort)

  • The story is riveting — catatonic.