How to Deport 11 Million Illegals…and Make Mexico Pay for It


Here’s the story, boys.  The bad news is, you’re fired.  The good news is, you’ve got — all you’ve got just three months to regain your jobs, start­ing with tonight.  You are now all being reassigned to the Depor­ta­tion Force.  The system will be merit only, and it will be based on bounties.  For every illegal you and your employ­ees round up and get deported, you get a bounty.  First prize is, you keep your job as depart­ment head.  Second prize is a set of steak knives.  Third prize is you’re fired.  The top five hundred bounty collec­tors under you will keep their jobs as well and will be re-tasked as Agency Reduc­tion Czar Sarah Palin sees fit.  Here are your tasers and badges, and as of now, we are keeping score.”

  • I’m in.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    I’ll make it even easier.
    No Mexican goods come north, and no American cash goes south, without Mexico accepting a certain amount of their own illegal aliens back every week.
    Also, their visas and travel to the U.S. grind to a halt until they have accepted back ALL of their people.
    I say that number will be much closer, if not OVER, 30-million.

    • Exile1981

      If you cut off foreign aid to mexico you could pay for the wall in 4 or 5 years – it depends on if you pick the high or low wall cost estimate.

    • lolwut?

      That harsh approach could have an opposite effect though.

      If you impoverish Mexico more then it already is then you run the risk of creating an all out rush for the border involving tens of millions of people.

      Deporting 11 Million, or whatever the real number is really isn’t workable
      just stick to deporting criminals and you won’t see much of a backlash, in fact most law abiding Mexicans, regardless if they are in the country illegally
      will support it. probably even help you.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        I think we need to extinguish Mexico as an idea for a nation state, and then her entire culture needs to be re-ordered to something a bit more “sustainable”.
        Nothing short of a cataclysmic implosion will do that.

        • lolwut?

          You have my Armored Kuruma. 😉

        • dance…dancetotheradio

          There is a reason that latin America is a shit hole.
          Buddy at work tells me he goes to his cultural club.
          The grifters come in every day with loot.
          And he buys it.

  • Med1

    The reason why I love Trump is because he is the ONLY one with balls big enough to do what needs to be done. This is why getting Mexico to pay for the wall will be too easy for him. If you THINK Mexico won’t pay for the wall, it’s ONLY because you’re not willing to do what it takes to fix it!

  • FivePointSpurgeon

    Glengarry Glen Ross crossed with Top Gun as a rant? Well done.

  • Minicapt

    … 2005-2006 …


  • pdxnag

    Now, fit that into one tweet.

  • Jay Currie

    Fish in a barrel.

  • Brett_McS

    For those who may not have caught the connection, the text is based on one of the best scenes in movies – certainly the best by Alec Baldwin – based on the David Mamet play Glengarry Glen Ross.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      But, I have successfully torrented it.