I Was Detained By Killers from the ‘Cannibal Cartel’!!!


NO! I did not pinch this story from an old Men’s Adventure Magazine!

TIERRA CALIENTE, Mexico — The squad of cartel sicarios, or hitmen, fans out across the road as we approach. They take up skirmish positions quickly and professionally, using thorn trees and a nearby fence line for cover. All the weapons are aimed our way. Then their point man waves us forward.

As we come closer, I can see they carry G3 and AR15 assault rifles—some with grenade launchers mounted under the barrels. They wear paramilitary uniforms beneath Kevlar vests, their combat harnesses crammed with 40 mm grenades and spare clips. Ski-masks hide their faces in spite of the desert heat.

“What the hell are you doing here?” the squad leader asks in Spanish, but doesn’t believe us when we tell him.

This only gets better!

  • Women who dress like that invite cannibals.

    And snakes.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      Do you want cannibals mister?
      Because that’s how you get cannibals!

      When organized criminal gangs of cannibals have taken over huge swaths of your country, you have failed as a people, as a culture, and as a government.
      Think about it. Even the movie Mad Max didn’t have canniabls.
      The mutants of the wasteland, of a post apocalyptic hell-scape, are better behaved than your average Mexican drug cartel that controll most of that country.
      Thanks Mexico!
      Thanks Mexican “culture”!
      Thank you Mexicans!

      • canminuteman

        These people are the descendants of the Aztecs and others like them. The country was never heavily settled by the Spanish, and the Spanish that did settled extensively interbred with the natives. It’s no surprise that they would devolve to this when the strong hand of government isn’t there to control them.

  • canminuteman

    This is what a failed state looks like. This is what the world looked like before “peace order and good government” came on the scene. Whoever had the power to control and dole out the resources in a given area did so. We called these people kings, princes, lords, chiefs, whatever. We have spent a thousand years trying to get to where we are now to avoid living like this, and the whole world seems to be slipping back to it.

    • ntt1

      but you have to admit that a medieval society would be wonderfully diverse and vibrant,