• Hey, remember this one?
    Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance”

    http://www.jihadwatch.org/2011/12/islamic-cleric-bans-women-from-touching-bananas-cucumbers-for-sexual-resemblance

    I think I’ve discovered how that particular thought process came about.

    “If a man makes a hole in a watermelon, or a piece of dough, or a leather skin, or a statue, and has sex with it, then this is the same as what we have said about other types of masturbation [i.e., that it is halaal in the same circumstances given before, such as being on a journey]. In fact, it is easier than masturbating with one’s hand”.”If a woman does not have a husband, and her lust becomes strong, then some of our scholars say: It is permissible for the woman to take an akranbij, which is a piece of leather worked until it becomes shaped like a penis, and insert it in herself. She may also use a cucumber”.

    Bada’i al-Fuwa’id of Ibn Qayyim (Islamic scholar), page 129

    http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur'an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Islamic_Silliness

    • Shebel

      I can see that you have been studying this stuff.
      What is your preferred method?

    • What can I say? Islam simply emanates virtue and the deeper spiritual truths — watermelons and cucumbers, sublime.

    • No salad for me thanks.

  • Yusuf_al_Kafir

    Ever seen a cat and a turtle play together?
    Hell, has anyone ever seen a turtle play, period?

    If they’re not playing, then that turtle is equally silly in trying to hunt a cat. haha

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3zvoWjvgcs

    • That’s pretty cute. (the ladies are missing this but they’re on a more altruistic mission discussing the spiritual merits of garden vegetables at the moment)