Exclusive: The Secret Flower And Candle Retailers Don’t Want You To Know!

Always ahead of the curve BCF secured an exclusive though anonymous interview with a representative of the Flower & Candle Memorial marketing board who spilled the dirty little secret that has the industry cowering in fear… Here’s  the chilling lowdown straight from our industry insider…

“…We’ve sponsored study after study and every single one without exception has come to the same conclusion. Flowers and candles, even candles arranged into hearts or peace symbols have zero deterrent effect against Muslim terrorists. In fact they may even encourage random jihad attacks. It’s as if certain of our cultural practices, OK, actually all of them, don’t translate well and offend the Muslim world.

Magic candles ward off Muslim Terrorists

Magic candles and flowers have been proven ineffective at warding off mass murder by Muslim Terrorists

Needless to say none of these studies will ever see the light of day. That would be bad for business.

What worries our industry more are the confectioners, they’ve come out with a line of “Massacre of the Infidels Celebration Candy” which people can hand out to show solidarity with their Muslim friends on the occasion of each new mass killing.  You just know that’s gonna take off. Give em credit, they were smart and paid attention to cultural norms, it’s smart marketing.”

  • mobuyus

    News shows were plastered yesterday with an event at one of the flower memorials that looked and sounded staged involving a child and his father blathering on about the power of flowers to protect them from bad men. I almost puked. I think the father had an agenda.

    • Glad I missed that.

    • Dana Garcia

      Was that the Asian father and boy speaking French about bad men doing bad things?

      Double barf points for enforced liberal diversity, as usual.

      • mobuyus

        It was sickening and done with vile purpose. They looked Asian in an Afghani way. Muslims trying to change the channel again. Using children again like the reposed dead kid on the beach to further their agenda they know we in the west have a soft spot for children and use it for their advantage.

  • Ali

    Even I found this funny.
    This war will not end until the kafir accepts Allah as the true God and Mohammud as his prophet.
    Jesus was never born of God and was a lesser prophet whose purpose was to foretell of the coming of the coming of Hohammud.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you, eg. nothing.

  • Gaylord Ponce

    Someone wiser than I said ” Courage NOT candles is what is needed.”.
    Don’t piss away your money on candles, flowers or teddy bears. Buy a fucking gun!
    A BIG fucking gun!

  • Dana Garcia

    Bright lights coming from the barrel of a large firearm work much better in deterring allah’s gangsters.

    Candlelight vigils make me want to puke actually.

  • morticiaa

    This article is hilarious, and a creative response to the garbage interview on the CBC which I flick onto every once and awhile, and take it as long
    as I can before switching…the interview from the streets of Paris they did
    with the cute kid and parent, fighting the bad guys with flowers and hearts, meanwhile, all the American channels
    are talking about the real threats of bringing in all the islamics from Syria
    Are there any stores or public places anymore in this country that dont
    have the saudi bitches in their black medieval costumes or the religious
    backward lunies wearing their traditional costumes and hijabs of various
    colors and designs
    I will not be served by any of these multicultural people in the service industry.

    • Justin St.Denis

      Muslimas stink. Those garments aren’t made of silk! Polyester and acrylic fibres guarantee that most smell like rotting tuna by mid-day. I always refuse service from muslims because they stink. There are always “better” stores that don’t tolerate stinking staff.

  • EarlyBird

    Candles on the floor like that are a fire hazard, you saw how they cattle-stampede over it as soon as they hear a noise, barely after writing “not even afraid” on the wall.

    I hear that many facebookers are now in the process of unfrenching their profile pictures, as the “weekend event” is now done. The irony is that there were more French flags on facebook than in any candle-chalkboard-Imagine song-weed smoking rally in Paris.

    How do the Parisians think (might be different in more rural parts of France though):
    Charlie Hebdo and kosher market: cartoonists and jews are specific targets, they shouldn’t have drawn the cartoons and Jews, well, are Jews (should have known better). Conclusion: average folks aren’t to worry about, they only go for people against whom they have some grievance.

    November 13: now they are targeting average folks, but it was probably just random luck, so back to business as usual, and anyone showing up with a “deport islamists” banner ought to be booed and called fascist. There were these 10-15 guys who had to back off after the much larger crowd of “normal” French started pushing them and calling fascists.

    As Steyn quoted Bin Laden, when people see a weak horse and a strong horse, they choose the strong horse. France is the weak horse for everyone to see now, not so much by the attacks, but by how they reacted to it. I’ll bet on the Hungarian and Polish horse.

  • Chatillon

    It’s the Teddy Bears that ward off Mohammedan attacks. You forgot the Teddy Bears!

    All of this is a sign of the infantilization of Western culture. Instead of Teddy Bears, the West needs to let slip the dogs of war. For that, we need new leaders. Completely new. With Western values, not influenced by cultural Marxism, Islam or any other utopian codswallop.

    • A sea change is needed, Justin is a hiccup, he will be tossed when the storm arrives.