10 things Canadians need to know about Americans

Americans are very different from Canadians.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Obvious anti-American propaganda straight from the black heart of Soviet Canuckistan.

    Most of that was kind of true, except maybe for the state patriotism part, well maybe not, as we are all convinced that our own state is the greatest.
    A Godless filthy foreigner criticizing our individual state usually won’t raise much of an eyebrow, but Godless filthy foreigners talking nonsense about America will make us want to stab you.
    Most normal Americans take patriotism about as serious as the Taliban takes the Koran or Texas’s unique relationship with football. Real football, not that crap you call football, that we call soccer.
    To us, it’s all rather a big deal.

    The extra large portions in restaurants are just erring on the side of caution. What if the customer hasn’t eaten in a while and NEEDS a 5,000 calorie hamburger or will soon die?
    We are prepared for such contingencies.

    • Waffle

      I agree — I lived in the “racist” south (Dallas) for 2 years and realized that as a Canadian I had been lied to. I never did find out what “uh huh” really meant, but I’m fixin’ to do so . . .;)

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      He lives in New York.
      We call football football and soccer soccer.
      And wonder why you need four downs to get ten yards.
      Also, the portion sizes are probably mandated by the government in case black people eat there.

      • andycanuck

        And Mexican illegals!

    • andycanuck


  • Brett_McS

    I have had the “Uh-huh” response from an American – it is off-putting.

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      Agreed, I always say you are welcome with an enthusiastic smile.

    • David

      I still find an uh huh response to thank you off-putting.

  • Clink9

    Love the “uh-huh” thing. Our family does it for a week after every trip to the US.

  • Xavier

    90% accurate and bothers me not a whit, you hosers.

  • marty_p

    Many of the observations are dead on.
    Humongous portions – stop at a Golden Corral buffet and watch the 300 pound customers eating plate after plate for fried food.
    The lack of travel is true – I spoke to a cashier in Charlottesville VA who told me she had no idea where Toronto was and she had never been “Out of the State”.

  • terrence

    A few years ago I was in Corpus Christi, Texas, over New Years. On New Years morning I was out for a walk along the beach (a great place to visit, BTW). The first person I saw was a big black guy jogging (about 6 feet 4 inches, and 200 lbs). He smiled and said “good morning”, as did I. About two or three minutes later, I heard him call out, “sir!”. I turned and could see him crumpling to the sidewalk.

    I was about 10 or 15 feet from him, and before I got to him THREE cars had stopped, and four or five WHITE guys were beside him, checking him out; one had called an ambulance.I asked him if he was OKAY, he said, “I think so; thanks for asking and stopping.”

    Mind you this was before Dear Leader, imam Obozo, was making a mess of race relations.

    • glasnost

      Americans may not know where Pouce Coupe British Columbia is, but they do know the difference between a black jogger in distress, and a ni–gger whose about to mug them.

    • glasnost

      Gavin doesn’t convince me that there are major philosophical differences between Americans and Canadians. There are operational differences, mostly due to scale, 35K vs 3.3M population.
      BTW: I should have used “who’s”.

    • glasnost

      BTW: I should have used 35M
      Craig Oliver and Robert Fife have totally messed with my brain tonight.

    • glasnost

      BTW: I should have used 330M…I’m going back to yell at the TV.

    • edlancey

      probably undercover cops.

  • edlancey

    My experience of Americans is that they’ll help you out if they think there’s a tip in it for them, Other than that they wouldn’t give you the time of day.

    • Xavier

      Sorry about that. There’s a big difference between the North and South, and Northeasterners seem especially rude, even to us. But it’s just regional behavior and they don’t mean to be nasty. I was raised in the South; good manners and politeness were simply part of the culture; you always held the door for ladies, you always said thank you, and you always stopped to help a stranger in need. Much of the South is still like that, especially small towns.

  • Frances

    He forgot to mention that a lot of Americans are convinced that Canada is covered year-round with snow and we all live in igloos. Grew up in a border town and was always amused when American tourists stopped me (barefoot and in shorts) to ask where the ski hill was. Sure we had one, but was rather green at that time of the year.

  • Brett_McS

    Just a side-note: The Simpsons Down Under episode was scarily accurate.

  • Thinking From First Principles

    I love Gavin’s commentaries and especially this one – it helps me get to see who I really am …
    I used to go to high level meetings with folks from all around the country. When a novice would say something I didn’t like, I would usually interject “I’m from New Jersey. We can have you whacked.” This was when The Sopranos was big on HBO. I always found it entertaining to see the reactions around the table. You could see people wondering …
    But about the “Uh-huh” thing. We didn’t invent it. It’s like “de nada” is in the Spanish language. We don’t need any attention for doing the right thing.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Oh Cah Na Daaa