“Aliens raped me on the Moon every night”

In another bizarre claim of alien abduction and molestation by a human being against an unknown alien species, a former United States Air Force worker has claimed that humanoid aliens with reptile like tails raped her repeatedly on the moon.

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    America’s OTHER Alien problem!
    Ok, so shape-shifting reptilians abducted her and then raped her on the moon, EVERY NIGHT.
    I get that.
    But why did they make her lift boxes at the alien moon base?

    • I understand aliens are very lazy.

      • Drunk_by_Noon

        As lazy as they were sex crazed!
        Kind of like the other aliens now that I think about it.

        • You mean those imported from Syria etc. by Obama, don’t you? Are you implying they have reptile like tails? Is this some kind of new racist accusation?

          • Drunk_by_Noon

            I denounce myself.

          • You have a good heart. you’ll go to Socialist heaven for sure.

          • Exile1981

            I wouldn’t be surprised if the imports had tails, too many generations of goat and camel sex. Of course Obama has a beard.

    • Exile1981

      Maybe box moving is some sort of erotic act? or maybe the fact she was doing manual labor is what they find arousing?

    • Now I know what Pink Floyd was talking about on the Dark Side of the Moon.

    • Blacksmith

      They wanted her for sweaty sex?

  • Jim Fox

    Homo asinalis.

  • ed

    one was called icktar one called mohammad and one called rasheed they all worked at the local taxi rank

  • Nice post, BCF. I would never have come across it alone.

  • El Martyachi

    Since ontario john’s absent…

    So it’s sorta like the NDP then…

    • ontario john

      I blame Harper and those damn Jews.

  • Rick

    ‘Fly me to the moon and let me live among the stars
    Let me know what sex is like on Jupitor and Mars’
    -the inimitable Frank S

  • Waffle

    She’s probably over the moon for getting it on with aliens.

  • Justin St.Denis

    WTF? No anal probe? Can’t be a “real” experience then. ‘Cuz we all know how they always perform anal probes before they do anything else to you! Sheesh!

    • Blacksmith

      Maybe the anal probe didn’t make her radar?

  • mauser 98

    moon? ,,, maybe it was Chicago

    • ntt1

      leave michelle obama out of this

      • mauser 98

        resistance is futile
        Romulan Mooch

  • ontario john

    I didn’t know Elizabeth May once worked for the air force.