Shaitan's Sausage Rolls

UK Prof On Communal Kitchen Etiquette: Don’t microwave sausage rolls – it’ll upset Other Faiths! And No Bacon!

It may seem an innocent enough act to warm up your sausage roll in the microwave during lunch hour.

But think again, because doing so could seriously upset colleagues of certain faiths, new guidelines on the etiquette of using communal kitchens at work suggest.

Similarly, it would also be advisable to avoid keeping bacon rolls in a fridge shared with people whose religious beliefs prohibit them from eating pork.


Only a Jackass professor could come up with these asinine suggestions.

  • mauser 98

    piggy-in-a-blanket, hot mustard,, some Stella Artois ..Valhalla
    should be done in oven though..

  • Drunk_by_Noon

    Maybe if the English would stop microwaving pork products the Muslums would stop raping their women?

    • mauser 98

      naaaa.. they wont…

  • northernont

    What if you get upset that someone else gets upset about your sausage roll in the microwave. Does it not work both ways anymore

  • Martin B

    “…people whose religious beliefs prohibit them from eating pork”

    As if it’s Jews who would wage jihad if they spotted some bacon in the communal fridge.

    These gutless worms live in such blind abject terror of Muslims that they don’t even dare to call them by name.

    • Clinton

      When did the left start being interested in not offending people with
      religious beliefs? I distinctly recall their mantra regarding abortion
      being “if you’re offended by abortion, don’t have one!”.

      Would we ever see ‘professor’ Dinham urge people not to obtain
      abortions or fornicate or engage in sodomy because it could offend
      their religious co-workers? Nope. But if you want pork for lunch,
      he’s there to shake a judgy finger at you. What a tool.

  • Yusuf_Al_Kafir

    ‘Professor Dinham warned that employers should consider new religions and cults, including Scientology, and beliefs such as environmentalism and vegetarianism, as well as the established faiths of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Sikhism.’

    What would be left to eat if one added up all of the foods that offend all of those different kinds of people??
    The impossible-to-please vegetarians/vegans/environmentalists cancel out more menu items than all of the religions combined!

    And ‘cults’ ?
    There goes the Kool-Aid!

    • ntt1

      Vegans should just be put down. end their misery,humanely, now.. the others can just be ignored

      • barryjr

        The only thing I ever agreed with David Suzuki on was when he said “for everything a human eats something has to die”.

      • Justin St.Denis

        At least vegans are not destroying themselves and their health by consuming the pharmaceutical products passed off as “beef” and “poultry” and sold in retail establishments across the country.

        If you didn’t kill it yourself, you really don’t know what you are eating. If you did, you would start hunting tomorrow.

        Truth can be uncomfortable.

  • Maurixio Garciasanchez

    If I’m hungry I don’t ask questions .

  • Rosenmops

    I feel inspired to have a pork bar-b-q at the office during ramadamadingdong.

    • Clausewitz

      Don’t forget the bacon bits for the salad.

  • Bernie

    So by changing normal everyday behavior so as not to offend Muslims…… Who is controlling whom?

    • Blind Druid

      “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize” – Voltaire

  • Dana Garcia

    Eating bacon is part of my religious observance. If Achmed doesn’t like it, he can get a one-way ticket home to Mecca.

    • Alain

      Enough to make the mouth water.

      • Man_with_Hat

        I think I can smell it. I passed on the little packages they sell now this week at the equivalent of $9 / lb. Looks like a few hundred dollars worth in that pic.

        • ntt1

          bitter experience leads me to estimate a one pound package per layer.

    • Canadian


  • Hank240

    I assume that we will be seeing separate lunchrooms in the future to prevent any of these problems.

    • Man_with_Hat

      Yup, we’re heading to the future with rampant segregation.

  • Clausewitz

    Once upon a time they said, “There will always be an England”. These days I’m not so sure.

  • WalterBannon

    everyone should eat these every day every where until all the muslims leave

  • Allan L

    Once again inane, idiot, morons wanting everyone to kiss Muslim ass. Dhimmi bastards.

  • Canadian

    The other faiths being the different islams?

    • Solo712

      Jews don’t eat pork either, though they don’t make scenes when the goyiim eat it.

      • Canadian


  • Denis

    if someone dosen’t like what I cook in the community oven they can get their own oven!

  • Maneki-neko
    • ntt1

      yep I stopped buying beef altogether a month ago, now its poultry lamb and pork. our local grocery featured a two rib ( About 5 lbs)prime rib roast at 65 dollars. get real.

  • ntt1

    One of the major pathologies affecting the muslims, among others,is their disrespect for bacon it all comes back to this ,

  • barryjr

    I stay in work camps and you should hear the whining from the permanently offended cult about the bacon, pork sausages, ham etc, Too bad for the whiners the camp operators know they would losebusiness if they got rid of those goodies. If certain foods offend your religion maybe you should get a more tolerant religion.

  • ed

    ” fu*k em ” !

  • Justin St.Denis

    When I was in such workplace circumstances (having to share microwave ovens and refrigerators), I quickly developed a nose for the nearest pub. Pub lunches are frequently awesome and usually dirt cheap. Plus, there’s beer! 😉 Wherever beer is sold legally, there are no “offended muslims”.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Segregation is the only answer.

  • John

    The smell of cooking bacon is even better than the smell of baking bread

  • tom_billesley

    The professor is selling courses to employers. Employers’ HR departments will want employees to go on a course because then when an offended mahometan sues for discrimination in the workplace, the employer can throw the offending employee to the wolves and disclaim liability.

  • tom_billesley

    If you say it’s donkey not pork, will they confiscate your lunch for DNA testing?