Washing machine heaven

Join ISIS and get a washing machine

ISIS extremists are trying to lure would-be jihadis from Britain by offering to accommodate them in homes fitted with the latest domestic appliances.

The terror group is apparently offering to provide basic household items such as washing machines, fridges, cookers, carpets and mattresses to those who flee the UK and join militants in Syria.

The extremists are also offering to pay potential fighters additional money for each child they take out to Syria, in a bid to recruit large families from Britain.

  • Alain

    They must share the same handlers as Obama.

    • Interesting point, lets see if they have surplus Obama phones on offer.

  • Dana Garcia

    Choppers need serious machines to get the blood stains out. Jihads want to have a clean outfit to kill for allah.

  • lolwut?

    Don’t forget the skylight soon to be created by the JDAM that comes through the roof.

  • Observer

    We could save a lot of money if we took our most serious long term criminals and offered to the release them in return for them volunteering to give up their Canadian citizenship and for them to get a one way trip to Iraq and never come back to Canada.

    Now if we could only figure out how much additional money we would have to pay Sid Ryan to leave Canada permanently……

    • WalterBannon

      I like that plan – all sentencing of criminals for violent crimes should offer the choice of prison or “transportation” as it used to be called when we sent them all to Australia…

      • Except that those convicts actually made something of themselves.

  • Norman_In_New_York

    As knowledge of their atrocities grow, they must be concerned about maintaining their ranks.

    • Alain

      No, I think that is their main attraction.

  • Kit Ingoldby

    I hope this promotion does well and that lots and lots of extremists leave civilised countries and go to Syria and Iraq.

    Bye bye, don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out…..

  • ntt1

    Good ideas now if the muslim invaders are given free or heavily discounted air fare it might start to reduce the dangerous levels of potential jihadis in civilized countries

  • Frances

    Britain should help by chartering a plane – London to Syria, direct.

  • Shebel

    The one thing they Never offer is toilet paper.

  • Is there a death of appliances in Britain?

    • Drunk_by_Noon

      I wonder if they are offering full-sized washer dryer combos, because there is a dearth of correctly sized appliance in Britain.
      All of their stuff looks like it came out of Barbie’s Dream Home; it’s like 3/4 scale.
      Major appliance technology in Europe is well behind that of North America.

      I want to hear how ISIS keeps an electrical grid up, because last I heard, They couldn’t manage even that.

      • If I had to have a Barbie appliance, I want it in light purple.

        And all the stickers still have to be on it.

        ISIS deplores electricity. It’s too… infidel…