Just stop it: An email from the Dean of Faculty to staff and instructors

I hope you are enjoying your well earned summer vacation. I know I am. However, a number of issues have arisen which I feel I must bring to your attention.

1. Marking: Many of you are still clinging to the outmoded idea that marks are designed to measure absolute progress in a subject. You are insisting upon received grammar and spelling in essays. You are setting exams and papers which, in themselves, are triggering events causing significant anxiety. Worse, you are not taking into account the often heart rending oppression narratives which many of your students bring to class. Stop it.

Read on…

  • Exile1981

    I’m assuming this is a joke and not an actual letter to the staff. If it is real which university did it come from so we can start salting the earth around it.

    • It is satire. But only just.

    • dance…dancetotheradio

      The question is which university didn’t it come from.
      Who gives the accreditors their monopoly and how do we break it?
      Who gives the accreditors their monopoly and how do we break it?

    • Jay Currie

      My work here is done…Bwaaaahaha!

      The fun part is just how easy it is to write this awful crap.

      • Exile1981

        It sounded like satire but I figured if that sort of letter hasn’t gone out will soon enough.

    • Minicapt

      University College of North Saanich.


  • Mark DeFord Eletion

    The “Higher Education” industry has done a good job of making itself both increasingly necessary (too many jobs require degrees) and increasingly irrelevant (students graduate dumber than stumps). Very often already, a more useful education can be had for free on sites like YouTube.

    Informal online education is the future. What needs to be developed further though, are ways employers can recognize workers’ actual knowledge, instead of relying on their collection of framed wallpaper.

    • That is the future. Who could possibly need or want to higher some idiot who can’t function outside a “safe space”?

    • Jay Currie

      So my 14-year-old homeschooler son was perfectly prepared to discuss the gay marriage decision when my 11-year-old homeschooler son brought it up at dinner. And he was able to cite the dissenting justices and both of them knew what a SCOTUS dissent was. I’d love to say it is because I taught them both a little law but it is actually a combination of You-Tube and Reddit.

      If you can read and watch a video your curiosity is going to be satisfied and you’ll learn tons of stuff, some of it true, with a laptop and a high-speed internet connection. (You’ll also waste a lot of time on games, idiots and, horrors, porn…but I did that when I was 14 without the internet.)

  • Chris Marcellus

    What ever happened to Lord Gaga? He should rein in his lady.

  • Frances

    Dear Dean: you have just given me SOOO many reasons why I should not consider any graduates of your university when I go hiring. Strange as it may seem, the positions I seek to fill to require decent English skills – both oral and written. Also, I require employees who have – in their academic careers – achieved something other than a degree in whining and victemhood.

    Have already had it with too many snowflakes of the female sex who felt that pregnancy meant the only requirement for a paycheque was to turn up. Actually doing the work required – forget it. Unfortunately, said snowflakes also came of moneyed families and the snowflakes did not hesitate to threaten lawsuits. I am not so fortunate, having taken out student loans (quickly repaid) to receive the professional degree I now have, and with which I have opened my own business. So I caved for those ones.

    Your next cohert will, however, not be so fortunate as previous snowflakes. Word gets around: your grads will be fortunate to find employment as taxi drivers and baristas: even the local supermarkets require a work ethic from their employees.

  • Hard Little Machine

    I hope he didn’t really send that in jest because he’ll be fired.